The Traditional marriage ceremony now hinges on materialism and social aggrandizement, and the marriage itself degenerated to business contract. The intent of the tradition and of the marriage are relegated to the background.
Marriage culture is intended to establish mutual relationship between two families that may not have hitherto known each other, and the marriage itself provides a ground where a man and a woman from different backgrounds grow from a bond of love in learning from each other and maturing in the Will of God.
Marriage is entered into when a man and a woman who unconditionally love each other, have complementary qualities and spiritual harmony resolve to live together as one in purpose in the fulfilment of the Will of God. The complementary qualities could be identified over a period of courtship and spiritual harmony achieved. Knowing parents would not hesitate to consent when they identify this.
Consenting means creating necessary environment that will enable the marriage, already made in heaven, be consumed in the most joyful way. This involves satisfying the necessary traditional requirements.
The nature of man now grants that marriage should be protected and future distraction prevented.
The protection lies in making it statutory and preventing distraction lies in satisfying minimum traditional requirements like
1. Bride price by the man's family to the woman's family
2. Dowry by the woman's family to their daughter to start new experiencing with the man.
3. Prayer from the parents of the man and the woman and from the respective matrilinear families of the man and the woman. This is done in a secluded place. It is called 'eba n'ofe igo ofo' or 'eba n'ofe ikpe ekpele'. It marks the climax of the marriage.
4. A goat by the man's family to the woman's extended family. The goat is killed at an agreed and announced time and shared by every member of the extended present at the time to seal the marriage.
'Eba n'ofe' is performed after the woman is presented to the public or presented only to the extended family in a ceremony called 'Wine carrying'. If omitted as often seen and done in some wine carrying, the ceremony is inconclusive as the necessary prayers are not uttered for the blessing of the marriage.
Further blessing could be sought in a church where the man and the woman again reaffirm their resolve to strive upwards together to God.
Other traditional requirements necessary but will not prevent the couples living together in marriage are meeting the following stipulated requirements for
a. Parents of the woman by the man (very compulsory)
b. Married daughters in the woman's extended family by the woman but sponsored by the man (compulsory)
c. Co-wives of the woman's mother by her mother but sponsored by the man (compulsory)
d. Unmarried daughters of the woman's extended family by the woman but sponsored by the man (not compulsory). Nothing stipulated for this.
b to d are merely social functions
For the woman's mother to eat in the new home of her daughter certain requirements are fulfilled by the man.
When the woman reaches her husband home she performs a social function, as stipulated, for her co-wives in the husband extended family.
As a community advances in its understanding of God and His Will so does it's culture improves. So will it be for Ideani as it matures more in its understanding such that at a time it's marriage culture will swing completely in the Will of God. May we strive to live up to our vow "Thy Kingdom come, Thy Will be done on earth as it is in Heaven" each time we say the Lord's prayer.
Mezue Edmund
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